Excerpts From The Diary Of An Alien Life-form Studying The Earth.

Date on planet being observed : December 23rd. Year 2008.

Date on Home Planet(RX239JJB23484 CX12409AU ): 995 Julonks. 17294 Balops.

After extensive research about how the inhabitants of this planet manufacture the food called "Chewing Gum", I have decided to devote today to their religious beliefs.

First, Cricket. People pick fights about whether "Sachin" is "God" or maybe even greater than "Him". They fight about whether "Dravid" is still "The Wall" or "The Hole In The Wall". They want the "latest score updates from NZ vs WI", a match that an Earth-based reporter described as "two teams trying to bore each other into submission". The funny thing I found about this is that, by 1500hrs (Earth Time) every person involved in that conversation is baying for *someone's* blood. Sometimes "Sachin's", or "Dravid's" or that of "my esteemed friend here".

"BPL" followers are more expressive than their "Cricket" counterparts. There seem to be many secret rules you have to follow, if you want to talk about "BPL". I observed a fellow utter "ManU", and gory scenes followed, because this is a slur against the "Manchester United" faction. You have to be extremely careful, because somebody is always waiting to pounce on this. You *DO NOT* talk badly about "Steven Gerrard". Or "Mascherano". Or "Keane". Or "Torres". Apparently all of them are mid-level deities in the "Liverpool" faction. They never make mistakes. These two are the dominant factions in the "BPL" religion. They're at war almost everyday. In the midst of this raging battle, the soft-spoken "Arsenal" and "Chelsea" supporters ply their trade by whispering news about their factions among themselves. I have observed that members of these two factions try to involve themselves in the greater "War", but invariably find themselves left behind.

So basically, on the third rock from the sun :
1. Apparently, some bloke called "Sachin" is the presiding deity.
2. Another fella called "Dravid" was thought of as a contender for "Sachin" 's post, but he is out of favor now.
3. "Cricket" is by far the most prevalent religion.
4. A rebellious few still talk about the less prevalent religion , the "BPL".
5. Said religion has two warring factions, "Manchester United" and "Liverpool".
6. There is nothing in common between the two religions, but interestingly they share a ritual. They both have violent arguments within themselves everyday.



Tomorrow, I will try to find out why the inhabitants of this planet try different experiments with their environment (…and this is the most intriguing part…) while knowing that this will eventually drive them to extinction.


This is Xji Inkosiskon signing out for now...