Showing posts with label the_dream. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the_dream. Show all posts

May 18, 2011

Red Skies.

Once upon a time.

Somewhere in Kerala. Or is it? I have been here before. I think I have. On a day like this when the sky shone red.

The temple gopuram rises majestically into a cloudless sky. I glance up, seeing its sepia tones light up the earth like a long forgotten photograph.

As I enter through the temple gate, I can see the sparse crowd of devotees making their way around the temple. The steady chant of mantras echo from the inner sanctum. Why am I here?

I see you. A face so familiar, and yet a memory of a life that's so far away in the past that it seems like a half-forgotten dream. Do I know you?

Your eyes are still the same. But how do I know that?

And an eternity passed but the sun still hovered, just above the horizon, as the sky shone red.

The throng of devotees glance at us as they pass by. There is no time. We have to complete the pradakshina, before the sun sets. Why? Why do we have to? Why can't we just stay like this, here, as the sky shines red?

It's raining, you say, looking up. Your eyes blink as raindrops fall from a cloudless, red sky. I raise my palms skywards, feeling them splash on my skin. I have to keep my eyes open.

Around us, I see the devotees walking faster now. Don't we have to make the pradakshina, before the sun sets, I hear myself asking you. You smile, as if humouring me.

You said, I start, my voice sounding accusing. I know, but there's still time, you say, taking my hand in yours. I have known you, from a long time ago. When we met on the banks of the Sarayu.

You told me then, that you would see me again. On the banks of the Sarayu.

The sounds of a raging river fill the air, as the rushing water tumbles over craggy rocks, throwing a mistry spray into the air. The stones paving the temple courtyard are dotted with the remnants of raindrops from the cloudless, red sky.

The sun hides halfway below the horizon now, the last rays of the day lighting up the gopuram. The rain has all but stopped, leaving us both standing below the fading light of a red sky. It is time, you say, coming closer. But you said there was time, I say, feeling an inexplicable sadness. You said there was time to make the pradakshina, I say, petulantly.

I know, you say, but the sun is setting.

We just have halfway to go, I say. I don't know why, but we have to make the pradakshina. We have to. You glance westward, wistfully, and for a moment, the fading rays dance off the tears welling in your eyes. Or are they raindrops?

This is as far as we can go, you say, but I will always be here, on the banks of the Sarayu.

My fingers close around nothing.

Wait, I stumble, as I grasp at thin air. My voice echoes through the empty courtyard.

I must complete the pradakshina. I cannot turn back. The right shoulder always faces the deity. The shadow of the gopuram waits ahead, as red skies glow, and the sun slowly sinks below the horizon.

The light from the garbhagriham spills over into the courtyard, sparkling from the raindrops on the stones, like a thousand diamonds scattered on the ground. Like a thousand mirrors shattered. I look up and the rain comes down again, from a cloudless, red sky.

This time, I close my eyes, and wake up.

Dec 12, 2009

Randomosity.

Well, life has been spectacularly boring the last few days. Broken up by sporadic bursts of adrenaline rushes. Like the CAT. Or the Food Poisoning From Hell. The cramped bus journey home. Driving a car after a really long time.


Yeah, I was among the sea of humanity who courted The Feline in hopes of a better life. Among other things. You see, everything you wish for has to be the one thing that is going to change your whole world.


Like, in school, the tenth, twelfth board exams were going to be the "stepping stone to a great future". Yeah, we all know how that turned out. But the Illusion never really stops. It continues with the Entrance Exams ("...if I get into a great college, that's it, my life's set..."), campus placements. By this time, the Illusion has become a Hallucination. Everything is about the Elusive Dream. 


"If I can get there, that's it, my life's made."


The there varies with the position we're in. When we were in college, the there was "Get into a reputed software firm. So what if they make you work for 15, 16 hours a day, you'll get paid for it." Of course you will.


Finally, by the strength of your back, and the sweat of your brow, and some ridiculous hiring interviews, you get your first job. Which, considering where you are, is a pretty big deal. The Illusion now is "Revolutionize the world with your creations". You do not exactly know what those creations are, but you know they're going to revolutionize the world anyhow.


Now the there is "Project, and then Onsite."


One year down the line, half of which was spent on The Bench, Nirvana is attained on a Friday evening, at 5.47 in the evening. The whole world is getting ready to enjoy the weekend, and you sit in your air-conditioned cubicle, paying for the sins of your past life, which have come back under the guise of a bug, that has seemingly no humanly comprehensible fix. Mails with CC to Really Important People Who Could Screw You Over are flying back and forth.


It is then that you tell yourself, "Ithokke yenth".


Roughly transliterated from Malayalam, it reads as "All this, is what?"


Simple, but at the same time eloquent. Having heard this for the first time from my CET friends during my training days, the true meaning sunk in only much later. That's all of human philosophy there, in two puny words.


As my friend Daniel likes to say "Dude, in the cosmic sense, all this doesn't matter in the least." Of course, he says that to everything. But, he's got a point.


That kind of existential crisis about The Futility of It All tends to strike between 3 and 4 AM. This usually happens when you've been sitting up really late doing something that requires minimum brainpower. Like chatting with your girlfriend. Or playing games that involves mindless carnage. And then you reach a point where you eyes refuse to stay open, and you bow out of whatever you've been doing, and lie down, and Bam!


Another thing that I've noticed about late nights is The Proposal. You see it all the time. Guy and girl talk for a long time into the night. Starts out totally platonic, but as the clock ticks, secrets spill, and Bam! Guy proposes. This is a Night-Only phenomenon, because you put the same guy and girl together on the phone in broad daylight, nothing happens. Must have something to do with The Witching Hour and all that.


Something to think about, then.